Dealing with Depression

[Kungufyu]

I'm not a psychologist and do not claim to be, but I have worked out with relationships in the past.

So there is that pretty girl you have liked for ages...but you never took up the courage to ask her out. Over the years, you've watched countless boys go out with her and then separate. You are jealous of them. You want to be that guy who will stay with her, the guy just for her. You take a deep breath and try to have a conversation with her, but instead she turns away from you. You decide to leave in shame. Or maybe the situation is that you have had a good relationship with someone you love, but it was broken because the other does not love you anymore.

These are typical situations which most guys (and girls) go through in some point in their lives. You remember those movies and television soap operas where love is always possible. I am not trying to bring down your hope, but the chances of that are as slim as shooting a basket from the basket on the other side of the court. Don't always think you can win love if you try hard enough, but don't despair that you may never find love. Love is all around you, you just have to find and share it with the person. Friendship is the most common example of love. They will always love you if you love them back. Never try to force love, it will always lead to disaster. Love should be earned, not taken. Avoid moving to the direction of violence, that is one of the worst things you can do in your depression (this includes confronting people standing between the unsuccessful/broken relationship, or innocent bystanders whom you take out your anger upon)

You may have gone through the put-down stage earlier or later in your life. Maybe you haven't gone through this tough stage yet. But what everyone feels more or less is depression. Depression is a negative emotion you get when you feel you are sad or angry about something. Some feelings and reactions to put-downs I have observed are: feeling worthless (thinking no one likes you and want to fade out of the world; this sometimes may lead to thoughts about suicide), unwilling to talk to anyone and want to be left alone (this occurs often if your introverted, a person who mostly keeps his feelings to himself and doesn't like being with crowds of people), and confusion to why and how things are (as if fate or religous figures control your life and how you go through life). All of these feelings are normal. Unless if you are a mentally healthy individual who can accept put-downs (not meaning that he or she is insensitive), you may have a very hard time getting over this stage of development. Your heart may feel broken as if that girl just punched you hard and you can't get back up. It is not bad if you can't accept how things are, it is just a new concept to you that you must develop through. Don't think you are worthless! Think about the happier times with your family and friends when you had so much fun that you laughed until your belly hurt. Remember those times? Those are the happy memories you'd like to remember. At that time, you felt strong love connections to the others, like a bond that could never be cut. That was love.

It may take a couple days, or maybe even weeks, until you full recover from the hurt. That is normal. It is a very healthy process to learn from your experiences and know how to deal with them in the future. It is not shameful to cry, so in a way, crying is one of the bravest things you can do. Crying is healing, not a thing of evil. After a good cry, you may feel better. Your heart may feel better.

The keys to dealing with depression is believing in yourself that you are somebody in this world that belongs, someone who is meant or destined to do something, and someone who is loved by others. Let that pretty girl go where she wants. You have a separate path than her. You must walk your own path, not dwell on the shadow of her's. You path will conjoin and separate with many in the future. Dwell on the memories of your love, not sulk on the separating.

Well, I hope this is helpful to some. I have another patient who is experiencing the same thing, and I am sure many of you may have the same thing. I have more good advice, look for me online.

[Sponsor]

[Robo]

Did you write this? Very nice to whoever wrote it! ;)

[Kungufyu]

Why thank you, that would be me . Outta my own head! Think I can be a psychologist? :D

really good information,topic STICK!

[Zizibaluba]

Great topic! I felt exactly what you discribed up there about 2 years ago. It was a hard time. I still feel depressed at times (never think that could happen, huh?).

Actually I think I might need a little psycological examination because sometimes it just comes back and haunts me. Plus I am a little psyco because I have thoughts about killing, death, destruction of society, world, etc... Those thoughts haunts me day and night...

Otherwise I'm fine. I mean I've cope with these thoughts long enough to ignore them (if I want to, that is), but they're still there...

I mean I have perfectly good reasoning for these thoughts of "chaos". They might seem evil to some, but I'm sure there's people that agree with me that society must fall.

Seriously, society has become so corrupted that I can no longer stand it... And everyone is evil to some extent... I mean even an old person dying is evil. I may sound very disturbing to many of you, but it's the truth. Everyone is capable of doing something wrong.

All this probably eventually leads to religious things about god and etc.

::Sigh::

Well, give some thoughts about this, all of you. It is a important topic.

Zizi

[Kungufyu]

Originally Posted by Zizibaluba

Great topic! I felt exactly what you discribed up there about 2 years ago. It was a hard time. I still feel depressed at times (never think that could happen, huh?).

Actually I think I might need a little psycological examination because sometimes it just comes back and haunts me. Plus I am a little psyco because I have thoughts about killing, death, destruction of society, world, etc... Those thoughts haunts me day and night...

Otherwise I'm fine. I mean I've cope with these thoughts long enough to ignore them (if I want to, that is), but they're still there...

I mean I have perfectly good reasoning for these thoughts of "chaos". They might seem evil to some, but I'm sure there's people that agree with me that society must fall.

Seriously, society has become so corrupted that I can no longer stand it... And everyone is evil to some extent... I mean even an old person dying is evil. I may sound very disturbing to many of you, but it's the truth. Everyone is capable of doing something wrong.

All this probably eventually leads to religious things about god and etc.

::Sigh::

Well, give some thoughts about this, all of you. It is a important topic.

Zizi

hey no worries man, everyone has had the urge to kill people b4;)

society is corrupt! i don't care what u republicans say! bush is attacking the middle-east for oil! that's a big no-no.

everyone is evil, and everyone is good. the funny thing about humans is their emotions and the magnificent range it can stretch. i don't get y u say old people r evil tho :p

plus, everything DOES lead to religion. religion is just the belief or reasons of why everything happens the way they do. something u don't understand always leads to religion, whether u believe it or not. it is just irrational to the mind, therefore (tho u may not realize it) u try to make up some reasons y it happened.

[YinYin]

Originally Posted by Kungfuyu

It may take a couple days, or maybe even weeks, until you full recover from the hurt. That is normal. It is a very healthy process to learn from your experiences and know how to deal with them in the future. It is not shameful to cry, so in a way, crying is one of the bravest things you can do. Crying is healing, not a thing of evil. After a good cry, you may feel better. Your heart may feel better.

whats up if it takes me years ? not a couple of days not weeks not even months - years
i can't get outa it
the worst bout it is - that i can't even cry
do u know the felling of bein not able to cry if u want to?
i got this all the time ...

[Kungufyu]

wut's ur age and reason for ur depression

and try to be more emotional with yourself. accept your own feelings and let them out, especially to a close friend or family member. if you feel it is private, tell US ur feelings, they'll be in good hands. we'll try to help u as much as we can.

i dont understand y u cant cry, but if u cant, then try smiling more. go to jokes.com or something like that and go laugh ur head off. laughing and smiling automatically releases endorphins, which counter against depression.

hope it helps

[SilverDragon]

im sry maybe not the right place for this, but speaking of being depressed, i know someone who i think acts depressed cuz maybe other ppl r, or to get attention, iono, saying the world sucks etc. i asked him y, he never gave me a straight answer. but then he seems fine and talks alot to ppl. so one time i told him y be depressed? be happy, enjoy life, u might be making urself depressed, and he got mad at me and said i know nothing about him, mind ur own business etc. so did i do wrong? wat do u think?

[YinYin]

Originally Posted by SilverDragon

im sry maybe not the right place for this, but speaking of being depressed, i know someone who i think acts depressed cuz maybe other ppl r, or to get attention, iono, saying the world sucks etc. i asked him y, he never gave me a straight answer. but then he seems fine and talks alot to ppl. so one time i told him y be depressed? be happy, enjoy life, u might be making urself depressed, and he got mad at me and said i know nothing about him, mind ur own business etc. so did i do wrong? wat do u think?

well - just dont talk with him bout that
i thinks its the same with me
its not the way that i cant laugh or talk to ppl anymore
i cant give a straight answer to - i cannot even tell me y